About the Author
In 2016, Gary and I decided to take a new direction for our lives. We emigrated to Costa Rica from the United States, with the understanding that this was a one-way trip. As an only child and having no children of our own, this was a big move for us, more mentally and emotionally than physically. But Gary was my soulmate and I trusted that together, we would be able to navigate through any obstacles living in a foreign country might present.
Looking forward to our new adventure, we embraced all the "Pura Vida" ("pure life") aspects of life in Costa Rica. We immediately applied for residency, rented a two-bedroom condo in Playa Junquillal, a small rural town on the Northwest Pacific coast. Two years later, we built our dream home near Tamarindo, Costa Rica.
We lived there for six years, when suddenly Gary took ill. Although in hindsight, it was clear that he had been sick for a long time, perhaps as long as a year, we were completely caught off-guard. On October 8th, we received the diagnosis of cancer and by November 3rd, he was gone. I had little time to prepare myself mentally or emotionally.
I've always loved to write. And so, when I started to notice that something serious might be wrong (mid-September), I started to keep a journal. I wrote down details of the days, medical information, what I was feeling, what Gary was going through...you name it, I wrote it. I kept the journal on the kitchen counter, sometimes getting up in the middle of the night to record a happening or a feeling. Being able to express myself through my writing provided an outlet, especially since I never wanted to say anything negative out loud, within Gary's hearing.
Months after Gary's passing, I connected with a wonderful grief counselor, who provided me with the emotional tools to handle the overwhelming trauma. She held out a life-line that I was in no hurry to let go of. But that journal continued to be an essential tool in my recovery. I wrote for about a year and a half, between September 2022 and April 30, 2024 (8 years to the day we emigrated to Costa Rica).
At some point in time—I don't remember when—I decided the journal should be published someday. I wanted it to be a testament to Gary's life and all those he touched. The book was meant to be all about G—his life and death, his accomplishments and interactions. But somewhere along the way, the story morphed into my inability to deal with the void left by his death. Of how grief wrapped its gnarly hands around my throat and tried to strangle me. I HAD to write. So that I could learn to conquer the pain. So that I could never forget any part of this journey that changed my life. Because this isn't just about G's life and death; it's about my challenge to manage life after his death..
I hope this book will provide anyone who is grieving with a new sense of purpose, of regaining clarity of mind, and being able to stand upright after a fatal blow. It's taken years, but I can finally find happiness and enjoy life again, without feelings of guilt or regret.
I moved to another part of Costa Rica as part of my fresh start—my new journey, if you will. My two loyal furry companions, Mister Chan and Lilly, also share my new life.
